


This One Slice of Happiness

by Billxbesitztxmeinxherz



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, M/M, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-02
Updated: 2014-03-02
Packaged: 2018-01-14 08:49:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1260298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Billxbesitztxmeinxherz/pseuds/Billxbesitztxmeinxherz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing eventful ever happens to Tao in his small fishing village. Longing for an exciting life in the city, Tao quickly attaches himself to Wu Yi Fan whom has just returned from university in Guangzhou. Yi Fan cannot help but feel sympathy towards the shy boy constantly lurking in the shadows behind him. Little does Tao know… Yi Fan is keeping secrets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This One Slice of Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> For my dear Jody @fantaostic_ who is the only person in the world I’d be willing to share Tao with. I hope you enjoy this. It’s an interesting plot cocktail so hopefully it fulfills what you were looking for.

 

 

 

_Hot summer nights, mid-July_   
_When you and I were forever wild_   
_The crazy days, the city lights_   
_The way you'd play with me like a child_   
_Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?_   
_Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul?_

_\- Lana Del Rey_

 

 

A soft wind blew through the twisted narrow streets that curled and furled throughout the small village that sat perched on the cliff overhanging the ocean.  A small unnoteworthy town, population approximately one thousand, was composed by a series of shabby townhouses, which seemed to be clinging onto that cliff more than they seemed rooted. Below the cliff was a narrow strip of beach lined by fishing shacks and the village’s harbor. Small boats bobbed in an array of colors amongst the dark almost black sea waters, trembling with each mighty wave that passed under them and crashed against the cliff’s side. The air smelled of sea salt as the cries of gulls echoed in the distance.

 

This was the view from a large porthole window in which sat a young boy known as Huang Zi Tao. The teen sat slumped, one knee bent as his pale skin peeked out from purposely ripped black jeans and a large cashmere sweater that was more of a fashion statement as it did little good to keep the drafty sea breeze out, as his dark eyes rimmed with eye linear scanned the horizon. Beside him on the seat cushion of the windowsill sat a photo album stuffed fat with newspaper and magazine clippings. A chill ran through the boy and he cursed, hating how his house was perpetually cold.

 

“Tao?” A woman’s voice called up the stairs. “Honey? It’s dinner time.”

 

The boy said nothing as his fingers danced along the edges of the photo album, idly flicking through each page as scenes of Paris, New York, and Tokyo unfolded. Each page was themed with a different city as sticky notes with lists of the best restaurants and childish red marker circled certain attractions on subway maps. Tao knew what city he was at in his album simply by the feel of the paper. He’d leafed through it countless times when he was in class at his boring pathetic high school, under the covers with a flashlight while thunderstorms raged outside, but his favorite place was the windowsill on the second floor. When Tao sat there he could just stare out at the perpetually black water and watch the gulls as they soared through the cloudy skies with a freedom that made Tao’s guts burn. Tao’s room was really more of an attic as electrical wiring was exposed where it snaked along his wood ceiling but it was the only place of real escape Tao had in this dingy town.

 

“Tao!” A man’s voice called now, far less pleasant than the woman’s. “Come down here right now!”

 

“Alright already! I’m coming! Keep your damn pants on!” Tao roared, violently jumping off the sill as he raced across the room and peeked down the hatch that led to the first floor. The Huang family’s house was a converted fishing cottage and the stairs from Tao’s converted room to the first floor was a simple wooden ladder. The disgruntled teen glared down to where his father and mother stood at the base of the ladder. Tao’s mother was dressed in an apron with an exasperated look on her face while Tao’s father stood beside her in his fishing rubbers.

 

“Tao,” Tao’s mother sighed, “Please come down for dinner.”

 

“I’ll be down in a minute.” Tao said simply before retreating back into his room. From the floorboards beneath him, Tao could hear his parent’s voices.

 

“There’s something wrong with that boy.”

 

“Guan Xu! He is your son!”

 

“Some son! A son who refuses to fish? What sort of boy doesn’t like to fish?” Tao stood there, arms hanging limply at his sides, as he heard his mother’s forced whisper answer.

 

“Tao is… a different boy. We both know that. The life of a fisherman would not be well suited for him.” There was a long pause that made Tao’s insides churn.

 

“I know that… I know that all too well. Six generations of fishermen lost.”

 

* * *

 

Conversation was slow at the dinner table as Tao pushed his vegetables around his plate while his parents intently focused on their plates in front of them.

 

“So,” Tao’s mother said, reaching across the table and taking Tao’s hand in hers, “How were things at school?”

 

“I don’t know. I didn’t go.” Tao shrugged, pulling his hand from his mother’s.

 

“What?” Tao’s father slammed his hands down on the table and the plates rattled. “Why weren’t you at school?”

 

“I didn’t feel like going.” Tao blinked slowly, anticipating the inevitable storm brewing.

 

“What kind of an excuse is that?” Tao’s father roared, pushing back out of his chair and charging at his son. The man grabbed Tao by the collar of his sweater and yanked him out of his chair, pulling the teen close so that they were face to face.

 

“Guan Xu!” Tao’s mother squeaked helplessly fluttering around the pair. “Put him down! Guan Xu!”

 

“Do you know when I was your age I had no say in if I got to go to school or not? I was working the boats with my father and his father, you little punk! How dare you waste this opportunity that not everyone is so fortunate to have.” Tao’s father shook him as Tao stared off blankly at the wall behind his father’s head.

“Guan Xu!” Tao’s mother was close to tears now, clutching her hands to her chest.

 

“Do you hear me?” Guan Xu gritted his teeth and shook Tao harder. The teen’s head snapped back, neck protesting in pain, as the boy’s head rattled. Something flipped in Tao and he looked his father in the eyes, fury apparent in his eyes.

 

“Why should I even go to school?” Tao snarled, slapping his father’s hands away. The teen stumbled back a few feet before looking between his equally shocked parents. “What is the point of even going to school in this shithole of a town, huh? It’s not like I’m going to use my education for anything! There’s fucking five people in my grade, Dad! Only five and none of them are going anywhere soon!”

 

“Tao.” Tao’s mother sobbed, wringing her hands in worry.

 

“You go to school so that you can educate yourself and get out of this ‘shithole’.” Tao’s father shook his head sadly, face softening as years of age marred his face in a mass of wrinkles. “I know that things are tough for you here, Tao. I’m sorry for that but if you are serious about moving to the city, you need to be educated.”

 

“Everyone at school hates me.” Tao said to his feet. “They think I’m weird.”

 

“Well it might help if you stop putting that shit on your face.” Guan Xu said without thinking and Tao’s shoulders stiffened. “I mean you look like a damn girl.”

 

“Honey!” Tao’s mother hissed, jabbing her husband in the arm. Across the room tears began to run down Tao’s face and he sniffed back the wave of emotions that was rising within him. He coughed, floodgates breaking as he could no longer hold in his tears, and Tao’s mother began to cry too.

 

“Oh honey.” She said, gathering her son in her arms. “Hush. Your father didn’t mean it. Hush now.”

 

Tao sobbed, shoulders heaving, as he clung to his mother, messy black rivers staining his face. Tao hated crying but lately it was becoming more and more difficult to avoid it. Everyone around his age hated him, the elders in the village sneered when he passed, and he was probably going to be trapped this horrid town for the rest of his life. Sleep had been more difficult to fall into and thoughts of pills and knifes haunted Tao endlessly. How easy would it be to take the kitchen knife and plunge it into his stomach or fling himself from the top of the cliff at the edge of town? The high success rate terrified Tao in just how easy it would be to end all of this pain.

 

“Tao.” His father drew closer, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. I’m still trying to get used to the idea.”

 

“You don’t have to dance around it!” Tao shrieked, picking his face out from the safety of his mother’s arms to glare down his father. “Go ahead and say it! Everyone, all you fucking people, you all won’t just fucking say it! Fag! I’m a fag!”

 

“Do not say that word! Do not say that horrible word in this household.” Tao’s mother shouted, thumbing her son’s face in attempts to wipe away his tears.

 

Suddenly some lights from the neighboring house flickered on, followed by a screen door slamming, when a man’s voice called “Huang Guan Xu! Will you shut the hell up? Some of us are trying to put the kids down but no one can sleep with this damn screaming!”

 

Tao’s father charged over to the window and threw open the latch “Xi Ling why don’t you mind your own business? I’m on my land so I can do what I want. There isn’t anyone screaming on your property so why don’t you quiet down?”

 

“Keep it quiet Huang!” The man shouted before the lights next door went out again. Guan Xu rounded on his family and frowned.

 

“See what you made me do?” He said before Tao was breaking out of his mother’s hold and running down the hallway.

 

“Tao?” She called after son. “Tao where are you going?”

 

“Get back here and answer your mother!”

 

Tao said nothing as he grabbed his coat off the rack and bolted out the front door, bare feet slapping against the wet chilled gravel of the road. He could hear his parents shouting after him but Tao kept running, not even flinching as the stones sliced the bottoms of his feet open. Tao ran until his lungs burned, until his face was chilled from the cold night air, until his throat throbbed, until his muscles burned, until he could just run away from everything.

 

The boy found himself at the fishing wharf, stumbling down the docks, before collapsing at the end. Tao fell to his hands and knees, crying quietly to himself, fingers holding tight to the dock’s edge, while he looked over the edge. The ocean glittered as soft waves lapped at the docks, all ferociousness from earlier in the day gone with the incoming low tide. Despite the tide phase, the harbor was a deep one and many a child had been warned from a young age about drowning. Tao leaned forwards, fingers still clenching the dock’s edge, when he dunked his head. The water was like ice, stinging the boy’s face while its dark murky depths made it impossible for Tao to make out anything in it.

 

Tao shut his eyes, enjoying the feeling of his hair swaying in the water like dancing seaweed, until his lungs began to demand air. Tao winced, trying to keep himself under, but natural instinct had him pulling his head out with a mighty gasp for air. Tao hacked, lungs greedily sucking in air, as Tao regained his breath.

 

“No.” Tao said softly at first. The teen lowered his forehead to the dock and began banging his head against the splintered wood.

 

“No. No. No. No.” Tao repeated, getting louder each time until he was screaming and slamming his palms on the dock besides his head in anger.

 

Tao stopped, unaware of the blood sliding through his hair and down his temple, when he spotted a block of concrete stationed by a boat. Someone had taken some shabby rope and fastened it their boat to the block in an attempts to moor it. Tao picked it up, feeling it’s weight, as he could not lift the block above his chest level. It was heavy… heavy enough to keep Tao’s legs from lashing out.

 

The teen walked slowly back to the dock’s edge, rope and concrete block in hand, as he sat down. The night was still with a sort of melancholy that was enough to bring tears to Tao’s eyes as he began tying the rope around his ankles. He pulled the knots tight, a skill his father had taught him from a young age when Tao had been expected to take over his father’s fishing boat as an adult, before checking the knot on the concrete block. Experimentally the teen tried separately his feet but found that they were bound tight.

 

“I’m done with this.” Tao whispered, looking over his shoulder back to the lights of the town. He chewed on his lip and sighed, turning back to the water. He closed his eyes and began sliding the block towards the dock’s edge.

 

“Hey!” A voice shouted and Tao’s eyes shot open. The teen turned around and spotted someone running towards him in the darkness. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

 

Tao panicked, feet swinging around and knocking the block off the dock as it entered the water with a loud splash, then Tao’s body was being violently jerked into the water. The teen gasped in surprise at the force, hands scrapping against the wood in resistance just long enough for Tao to yelp in terror, before he was being sucked down into the water below. Tao’s heart had begun to race as the need for survival kicked in and the teen thrashed in panic. He sank quickly through the water, feet bound tight to the block, as he kept sinking lower and faster. The water’s surface vanished from vision as he entered deeper waters, lungs burning from what little oxygen he had left in his lungs, as the water became increasingly colder around him.

 

Tao felt the urge to scream but didn’t, well aware he’d need to conserve as much air as possible if he was going to get out of this alive. The water was dark around him when the block hit something and Tao crumpled to his side. It wasn’t nearly deep enough to be the ocean floor and Tao realized that he’d hit bedrock. The surface was still considerable distance above him and Tao’s ears throbbed at the pressure change.

 

He was going to die like this, at the bottom of the ocean amongst the trash of the harbor, and no one probably would even find his corpse. Tao’s hands struggled with the rope trying to untie the knot as he began to feel light headed. He was running out of air quickly and panicked seized Tao as he gave up logically untying them but instead pulled at the rope where it was attached to the block.

 

A form emerged from the darkness of the water, wrapping itself around the teen’s waist and Tao screamed, the last of his air escaping him in the form of tiny little bubbles rising towards the surface. Water entered Tao’s mouth and his body instinctively tried to gasp for air only to suck down water instead. Tao struggled helplessly as the form grabbed hold of his feet and pulled the rope taut. There was the glint of a knife and then Tao was free. The teen was out of air now, darkness creeping in the corners of his eyes, as he sagged against the form dragging him towards the surface.

 

Everything was growing dark and Tao could not fight it any longer as he passed out. The last thing him remembering was the feel of strong rigid muscles locked around his waist.

 

* * *

 

Yi Fan surfaced and gasped for air, coughing as he struggled for breath. He’d nearly run out of air down there and his body demanded he take a moment and adjust his breath properly. The man hacked, arms still holding tight to the teen in his arms, as he scissor-kicked through the water and brought them to shore. The sliver of beach by the harbor was composed of rough sand mixed with trash but Yi Fan did not care as he hurled the boy up onto the shore.

 

“Hey.” Yi Fan kneeled by the boy’s side and gently slapped his face. The boy’s skin was freezing and Yi Fan’s eyes widened. “Hey! Hey kid!”

 

The boy did not respond and Yi Fan began to panic. He cupped his palm over the boy’s nose and pressed his ear to the boy’s chest. The kid’s heartbeat was faint and he couldn’t feel any breath against his hand.

 

“Christ.” Yi Fan placed one hand atop another and began pumping the boy’s chest. Yi Fan counted in his head before leaning down and breathing into the boy’s mouth. He did this again and again, pressing down hard and firm against the boy’s chest cavity until suddenly the teen’s eyes were flying open.

 

The boy rolled to his side and began to cough up water, legs drawing up as he curled into the fetal position. Yi Fan rubbed the boy’s back uneasily as he watched the boy retch the last of the water from his body. Then the boy was rolling back onto his back, chest rising and falling, as he struggled to regain his breath. The boy threw his arm over his eyes and breathed although it steadily picked up until Yi Fan realized the boy was crying.

 

“Hey.” Yi Fan said, grabbing both the boy’s shoulders as he sobbed behind the arm thrown across his face. “Hey kid, are you okay? Talk to me!”

 

“Go away.” The boy sobbed, as Yi Fan pulled him into a sitting position. The boy mewled and struggled against Yi Fan’s hold as the elder struggled to get the boy to face him.

 

“Look at me.” Yi Fan pleaded as the boy kept his head ducked and continued to thrash. “Kid, look at me.”

 

“What?” The boy shouted exasperated as he finally held still and met the man’s gaze.

 

Yi Fan’s heart stopped when he got a good look at the kid. The boy was drenched from head to toe, dyed blonde hair sticking up at odd angles around his head, there was a prominent gash on the boy’s forehead, and he looked absolutely pathetic. The boy met Yi Fan’s eyes with a look that spoke of giving up and such misery that Yi Fan found himself pulling the boy in for a hug. The teen did not struggle, instead he just let Yi Fan cling to him, breathing evening out as Yi Fan stroked his hair and swore continuously at the reality of the situation.

 

The pair remained like that for a few minutes, Yi Fan just holding that poor boy he pulled from the water to his chest, as the boy sagged limply against him. It was absolutely silent save from the faint sound of a motorboat in the background when the boy spoke so softly Yi Fan almost didn’t hear him.

 

“Why were you on the docks?” The boy asked and Yi Fan laughed in disbelief, feeling slightly crazed at the events that had just occurred.

 

“Of all things and you’re asking me what I was doing there? What were you doing?” Yi Fan pulled back, hands still firmly grasping the boy’s shoulders, as he looked at the boy. The teen’s head was hung, water dripping from the ends of his hair, as his fingers twitched in his lap.

 

“I was trying to kill myself… I think that was pretty obvious.” The boy monotonously and Yi Fan swallowed, unsure how to respond to that.

 

“I…” Yi Fan was at a loss for words not wanting to say anything cliché and possibly upset the boy even more. “Do you have a place to stay tonight?”

 

“Yeah. What’s it to you?” The boy answered and Yi Fan watched him apprehensively.

 

“Umm,” He pushed his bangs back from his face and patted the boy’s arm awkwardly, “Do want to possibly get cleaned up at my place before going back to yours?”

 

“Sure.” The boy sighed, rising to his feet quickly and startling Yi Fan. “Mind as well go off with the stranger… doesn’t matter if I get raped and end up back at the bottom of that harbor anyways.”

 

“E-excuse me?” Yi Fan gaped, hoping to his feet as the meaning behind the boy’s words hit him.

 

* * *

 

Yi Fan could not get anything out of the boy except that the boy’s name was Tao on their way back to his place. The teen had ignored Yi Fan’s questions about what exactly he’d planned for the outcome to be on that dock and his motivations behind his actions in the first place. Instead the boy had sullenly trailed along Yi Fan, index finger and thumb trapping the man’s coat sleeve as they navigated through the dark streets of their small fishing village.

 

This man did not look familiar to Tao and he wondered if this man even really lived in town or if he was stray fisherman blowing in for the season. Tao surely would have known about such an attractive man living in their small pathetic village. The man, or Yi Fan as he’d introduced himself, was a tall well-built man with broad shoulders and a kind smile. From the moment Tao had met the man’s gaze he’d been enchanted. Tao had taken in everything from the man’s full lips and shiny white teeth to the elegant slope of his nose and strong fingers from where they held onto Tao.

 

The teen tried not to blush as he walked along side Yi Fan, deciding that if Yi Fan did end up being a serial killer or something, he really wouldn’t mind being killed by such a beautiful man. They were walking past what could be considered the slums of their village and were heading into the only wealthy neighborhood their village could brag about. Old houses, all made of stone and dating generations back, lined the road now as red lanterns swayed in the night breeze. Both men were chilled to the bone in their soaking clothes and Tao let Yi Fan gingerly guide him down a back alleyway. Tao perked up, he recognized the house.

 

“This is the Wu family’s house.” Tao said, looking to Yi Fan suspiciously.

 

“Yeah I know.” Yi Fan looked at Tao strangely and kept walking down the alley until they reached a small garden at the back of the house. Yi Fan unlocked the gate and motioned to Tao who refused to enter the property.

 

“We can’t just break into someone’s house. I know these people.” Tao shook his head.

 

“Tao, come here.” Yi Fan held his hand out. “It’s fine.”

 

“No.” Tao shook his head and Yi Fan sighed before walking over and seizing the younger male by the wrist.

 

“No! I’m not breaking into someone’s house!” Tao protested, trying to pull free of the man’s hold. “Let go of me!”

 

“Tao calm down I said it’s fine. We’re not breaking in.” Yi Fan tried but Tao wasn’t having it.

 

“Let go!” Tao hissed when the porch lights flicked on.

 

“Yi Fan?” Mrs. Wu stood on the porch staring at the odd scene before her. “What are you doing out here?”

 

“Nothing.” Yi Fan dropped Tao’s wrist immediately and Mrs. Wu’s face twitched in a grimace.

 

“Well make up your mind if you’re going to bring… your friend in or not.” She said, tugging her robe tighter around herself before walking back into the house.

 

“Who are you?” Tao demanded when Yi Fan began to head towards the house again. Yi Fan sighed and tugged Tao along after him.

 

“Yi Fan!” Tao hissed when they entered the residence. Tao’s mouth dropped open at the splendor surrounding him. Never before had Tao really thought about what the houses in this part of town were like inside, Tao had only ever seen them from outside their gates. The Wu family lived in the old part of town, the part where all of the houses were made from stone and had their own temples. An ornate mosaic of dragons spread across the floor of the entrance and the entire house was filled with a sweet aroma of incense. Petrified wood furniture, marble, silk tapestries, and crystal chandeliers decorated the interior of the Wu residence and Tao gawked as Yi Fan led them towards the bedrooms.

 

“Y-you never answered me.” Tao said when Yi Fan pushed him into a room and locked the door behind them. Tao crept backwards; uncomfortable that Yi Fan had locked the door. Yi Fan noticed the boy’s discomfort and sighed.

 

“Calm down.” Yi Fan began digging through the piles of clothes littering the floor.

 

“Who are you?” Tao asked again when Yi Fan held up a shirt to Tao’s body.

 

“That looks like it should fit, right?” Yi Fan was half listening as he searched for pants. Yi Fan hummed a happy note when he found a pair of jeans that look slim enough for Tao and threw the clothes at Tao before stripping.

 

“Oh god!” Tao shielded his eyes at the man’s unexpected nudity and Yi Fan snorted.

 

“It’s not like I have anything you don’t.” He muttered searching the room for a change of clothes. Tao slid his fingers apart and allowed himself a peak. Yi Fan was lanky, long limbed, with only a small bit of muscle definition, with sharp hipbones that jutted out handsomely against his alabaster skin. Tao bit his lip and drank in the sight of the man.

 

“Wu Yi Fan.” The man spoke as he pulled on a pair of track pants and Tao blinked. The man hadn’t put on underwear.

 

“Huh?” Tao said, still standing there in his soaked clothes.

 

“My name is Wu Yi Fan. Fourth son of the Wu family.” Yi Fan pressed his lips together in a thin line.

 

“I didn’t know the Wu’s had a fourth son.” Tao said and Yi Fan exhaled heavily, simply standing there only in his track pants. Apparently the man was going without a shirt.

 

“There’s no need to mention me. Older Brother is taking over Dad’s canning factory, Brother Two went to business school to oversee the factory’s dealings and finances, and Brother Three owns a few fishing boats in the harbor. There’s no need for a fourth son.” Yi Fan shrugged, walking closer to Tao. Tao backed up, still frightened, and Yi Fan met his eye while grasping the end of his sweater.

 

“Let’s get you out of these clothes, okay?” He asked and Tao nodded, face burning as Yi Fan helped him out his clothes. Tao shivered as Yi Fan peeled his clothes from him, warm fingers unnecessarily lingering on Tao’s skin.

 

“There.” Yi Fan beamed, ruffling Tao’s hair when they were done. Tao simple stared at the man, face blank, as he kept his thoughts to himself. Yi Fan watched the boy, smile faltering for a moment when Tao simply stared at him.

 

Huang Zi Tao was a complex child Yi Fan was beginning to understand. The boy’s eyes did not speak of childish youth and innocence but rather a lifetime of bottled pain. Tao’s stare was unsettling, a permanently haunted look gracing the boy’s features, as he simply judged Yi Fan behind those large glassy eyes. The blonde ran a hand through his hair before sighing.

 

“You shouldn’t have stopped me.” Tao spoke at last after a few moments. The teen said it so softly that Yi Fan had barely heard it but the words hit the elder like ice water.

 

“I was under the impression you didn’t want to talk about it.” Yi Fan dropped to the mess of sheets that served as his bed as Tao continued to stand there stiffly.

 

“You shouldn’t have stopped me.” Tao repeated again, this time more to himself.

 

“Is it really so bad?” Yi Fan spoke carefully, tone sympathetic without being condescending.

 

Tao snuck a glare to Yi Fan before flopping down on the coach pressed against the opposite wall. Tao curled into himself, dragging the blanket slung across the top over his body, and turned his back to the other.

 

“You have no idea the hell I live through everyday.” Tao’s voice wavered and the boy quieted afterwards in what Yi Fan assumed was crying.

 

The older blonde simply sat up to flip off the lights before retreating into the security of his covers. The room darkened and the only sounds filling the air were the dull cries of the gulls at the coast and the faintest sounds of Tao crying. Yi Fan closed his eyes and turned away from the boy.

 

“I think I have sort of an idea, kid.”

 

* * *

 

When Yi Fan awoke the next morning, Tao was gone. All that remained of the boy was a neatly folded pile of clothes piled atop the couch where he’d slept. Yi Fan had asked his parents but neither recalled seeing the boy leave the house. So the twenty-one year old had stumbled down their private street for a short while, eyes frantically searching up and down for any sign of the troubled teen but he was gone. And that was just the way that Tao liked it.

 

Meanwhile, across town, Tao sat at his desk at school. At the front of the classroom the teacher droned on and on while students whispered amongst themselves or furiously typed away on their phones. Tao had not gone home last night. Instead he had slept at a complete stranger’s house, gathered his clothes in the morning, and immediately set off for school. His parents had made no real attempts to contact him but then again Tao hadn’t even grabbed his phone when storming out last night. However there wasn’t a police search quite yet so Tao figured they weren’t too concerned. Just another emotional tantrum, Guan Xu would say.

 

Tao shook his head and sighed, slumping lower in this desk. The school bell sounded announcing lunch and the classroom was instantly in motion, students grabbing their packed lunches and escaping from the classroom as quickly as possible. Tao was the last to leave the classroom while the others raced ahead. He’d been eating alone without fail since their first year of high school and Tao expected nothing new today. The teen made his way out to the courtyard where most of the school took their lunches when the weather would permit it.

 

“Hey, faggot.” A voice that Tao knew could only belong to Liu Chanyeol said. The blonde teen paid the other no mind, fixating on the nice spot under the tree Tao planned on sitting. There had been no time to go home and pack lunch. The other student was clearly unpleased with such a reaction as Chanyeol grabbed Tao’s backpack and there it in the middle of the square. The noise of the books hitting the stone startled some of the other students in the area but their class was so small, this was nothing new, and no one would surely come to Tao’s defense… the time for that had passed years ago.

 

Tao sighed and finally acknowledged the bully. “What do you want?”

 

“Where’s your lunch?’ Chanyeol cocked his head, earrings—which were against normal school policy save for that the rules were rarely enforced in their small school—clinking with the action.

 

“I don’t have one.” Tao shrugged, slowly getting up and brushing past the other to retrieve his bag. However, when the two brushed shoulders, Chanyeol lashed out and shoved Tao roughly to the ground. A few students watching snickered.

 

“Get up.” Chanyeol taunted and Tao frowned. It was like this sometimes. Normally the bullying was restricted to verbal abuse however there some times, days like today when Chanyeol must have been feeling especially rotten inside, that the bullying began physical. Tao remained on the ground and Chanyeol wound his leg before landing a kick to the other boy’s ribcage.

 

“I said get up.” Chanyeol demanded and Tao hacked, rolling to his side before springing up to his feet.

 

“Just let me get my bag.” Tao replied slowly, cautiously sidestepping as Chanyeol gritted his teeth.

 

“What do you have in there that’s so important, huh?” Chanyeol sprang forwards before Tao could stop him, greedily snatching the bag off the ground. Tao made a noise of protest but made no movements to try and challenge the other.

 

“Give me back my bag.” Tao said, hands subconsciously clenching into fists at the brunette’s side. Chanyeol merely snorted and continued rifling through Tao’s bag.

 

“Books, pencils, crap, crap,” Chanyeol said aloud as he angrily disturbed the contents of the bag. “Where are you keeping all your makeup and tampons, fag?”

 

Tao sighed and a few students laughed again.

 

“I must have left them at home.” Tao said, growing impatient. “Now may I please have my bag back?”

 

Chanyeol ignored him, roughly swirling his hand in the bag as he peeked inside. Finally the boy stopped, smile spreading across his face, as he pulled a notebook out. Tao froze.

 

“Well what do we have here?” Chanyeol laughed, holding up a notebook labeled ‘Math’ with Tao’s sloppy handwriting. Despite the label, the notebook was stuffed fat with various bits of colorful paper sticking out on the sides. It was Tao’s school counterpart of his dream photo album that he kept at home.

 

“Give it back.” Tao croaked and Chanyeol’s grin widened, picking up on the tone of desperation in the other’s voice.

 

“What is this thing?” Chanyeol held the notebook away from his him, turning it this way and that, as the colorful pages flipped messily. “Is this your diary or something?”

 

“Give it back, right now!” Tao stepped forwards, hand outstretched. Chanyeol’s sharp smirk stopped him, understanding flickering in his eyes, as he waved the notebook loving how Tao’s eyes followed.

 

“You really are pathetic; constantly dreaming of running off to the city and living some big life. Are you too good to stay in town like the rest of us?” Chanyeol raised his voice and now the other students were muttering amongst themselves, pinning Tao with their angry gazes.

 

“You think that you’re smarter than the rest of us?” Chanyeol was nearly screaming now, shaking Tao’s notebook with each word. Tao kept silent, head ducked slightly, as he refused to answer.

 

“Well?” Chanyeol shouted, marching up to Tao and grabbing the boy by the collar of his shirt. Tao grimaced as the other invaded his space and screamed in his face, small flicks of spit flying out from his mouth.

 

“I didn’t even say anything like that. I just want my bag back.” Tao tried but Chanyeol was fuming.

 

“You really piss me off… you and you’re stupid dreams. Our town doesn’t need someone like you. Why don’t you do everyone a favor and just die?” Chanyeol snarled, roughly shoving Tao away from him. He then seized the notebook by both sides of the cover and Tao’s eyes rounded.

 

“No!” Tao shouted, gathering his balance before launching himself at Chanyeol. The other shoved Tao back roughly causing the blonde to fall onto his rear. Then Chanyeol was ripping the notebook clear down the spine. Tao screamed in horror as Chanyeol furiously began to rip out pages and toss them carelessly behind him.

 

“No! Stop!” Tao got up once more, rushing the other student. Chanyeol picked up his head, barely able to catch of glimpse of Tao winding his arm back, before Tao was landing a punch straight up Chanyeol’s jaw.

 

The other student grunted, notebook falling to the ground, as he staggered back. Chanyeol rubbed his sore jaw, enraged eyes darting to where Tao was desperately trying to gather the torn pages of his notebook.

 

“You punched me, you fucking fag!” Chanyeol snarled, tackling Tao in the stomach. The boys fell to the stone ground of the courtyard, Chanyeol swearing furiously as he tried to pry away Tao’s fingers which had tangled in Chanyeol’s hair to pull at the thick black strands. The students in the courtyard either cheered the two on or watched in stunned silence. Out of all of the times that Chanyeol had harassed Tao, Tao had never fought back.

 

“Let go!” Chanyeol managed to pin Tao on his back but the other brought his leg up and kneed Chanyeol in the ribs. The dark haired boy fell to the side, not even able to cover his face, before Tao was unleashing a fury of fists on his face.

 

“Get off of me!” Chanyeol shouted, nose satisfyingly crunching beneath Tao’s fist. Tao pulled his fist back, not even taking the time to admire the steady stream of blood flowing from the other student’s nose, before he was bringing his fist down again. Tao punched Chanyeol repeatedly, merely alternating between his right and left hand as Chanyeol’s head snapped from side to side.

 

“Hey! Get off of him!” Some of the other students had now stood up and were approaching Tao in worry as Chanyeol gurgled for help.

 

“Hey knock it off!” Another shouted as one student ran off in search of the teacher.

 

Tao barely registered the shouting around him as his focus narrowed down to simply taking out his anger on Chanyeol. Anger towards Chanyeol for bullying him for all these years when Tao had been nothing but civil to the other, anger towards other students from ostracizing him, anger towards Tao’s parents for simply not understanding their son, anger towards being viewed in disgust by everyone in the town, anger towards the feeling of being trapped in this shabby fishing village and living an unremarkable loathed existence. All Tao could focus on right now was the sweet burn of the split skin on his knuckles every time his fist made contact with the bones beneath Chanyeol’s skin.

 

It was finally a large pair of warm hands tightly gripping onto Tao’s shoulders and urging him up that stopped Tao. Tao had jumped as if being startled from a trance at the gentleness of the hold before looking to whom they belonged to.

 

“Yi Fan?” Tao gaped up at the man.

 

“You need to stop.” Yi Fan said slowly, eyes wrinkled in worry and Tao felt instantly ashamed. The younger whirled his attention to the poor bleeding student pined beneath him and Tao paled, quickly climbed off the other.

 

Tao said nothing. Instead he simply jumped from Chanyeol as if burned, stumbling back into Yi Fan. The taller man caught him, hands steadying Tao as he swayed uncertainly. Tao’s mouth open and closed a few times, both feelings of immense anger and tender confusion swimming within him.

 

“Ah my nose!” Chanyeol groaned, rolling back and forth in an attempt to ease the pain. The other students were instantly gathering around their fallen classmate, hands fluttering over him unsure how to help.

 

“Tao!” Chanyeol’s voice came out wet from the mouth of blood pooled in his mouth and Tao pressed further back against Yi Fan in fear. “I’m going to get you for this!”

 

“How much trouble do you think you’re going to get in for this?” Yi Fan’s mouth quirked in a smile against Tao’s ear, hands still resting on both the boy’s shoulders. “How about you ditch for the rest of the day? I have a few questions to ask you anyways.”

 

Tao pulled away from Yi Fan’s hold and turned to face the taller man. Yi Fan stood there smiling softly, stance relaxed as if they had all the time in the world, eyes warm and seemingly sparkling in the rays of sunlight that cut through the buildings into the courtyard.

 

Tao found himself nodding although he wasn’t exactly sure why. Not even the angry outraged cries of his classmates could stop Tao as he slipped his hand into Yi Fan’s and walked off with the virtual stranger.

 

* * *

 

The coast always had both a calming and a melancholy effect on Tao.

 

The boy bit his lip and watched the sea passing by them as the pair drove Yi Fan’s motorbike up the coastline on the narrow road that paralleled the cliff side. The cold sea air whipped through Tao’s hair and he wrapped his arms tighter around Yi Fan. The elder was warm, his broad back providing the perfect place for Tao to rest his head against.

 

Neither had spoken since departing from the school, Tao simply climbing onto the bike as instructed and not even uttering a word of protest as they took off for an undetermined destination. Seeing the sea was enough to calm Tao’s jitters as the feelings of anger quickly faded into ones of sadness and guilt. It was a useless fight and one that would no doubt cause future trouble for Tao. Tao would gain nothing but Chanyeol’s wrath for taking him on but Tao found that he could no longer really care. The teen was becoming numb, both from the wind blowing through his sweater and licking his bare arms, but also from the sheltered idiocy that Tao found himself surrounded in.

 

Finally the bike began to slow down as they reached the far side of the peninsula. They were at least five towns over from their own and Yi Fan stopped the bike once they arrived at an empty beach. A sad boardwalk snaked along the beach as beach roses sprouted out from grassy dunes. It was a small beach but a beach nonetheless, especially compared to the jagged rocky areas characterizing their homeport.

 

“Where is this?” Tao asked as they dismounted. Yi Fan reached into a side bag on the bike and pulled out a worn blanket.

 

“A tourist beach that’s always empty in the off season. This whole area is overfished so once the cold hits, no one bothers coming down here. I used to come here when I was a kid,” Yi Fan said, laying the blanket out and staring off into the distance wistfully, “Back when things got to be too much at home.”

 

“Ah.” Tao offered up weakly. The teen stood there simply watching as Yi Fan reclined on the blanket and titled his head back to the sky. The older man truly was beautiful. From the elegant slope of his nose to his strong chin to his large veiny hands, Tao could not help but praise the other’s appearance. While Tao had not hear of Yi Fan growing up, Yi Fan truly was without doubt a Wu son. And yet, at the same time, Yi Fan was so different from his brothers. Tao had seen the other Wu children around town, it was hard not to when their family basically controlled the entire town’s economy. However while Yi Fan’s brothers had seemed proud, arrogant, intensely driven; Yi Fan seemed thoughtful, calm, and slightly removed.

 

“I still really don’t know anything about you.” Tao spoke finally and Yi Fan rolled his head back to get a better look at Tao, squinting at him slightly as the sun still shone brightly through the grey overcast sky.

 

“The same could be said for you, Huang Zi Tao. The first night I meet you, you’re trying to kill yourself. And the next time, you’re trying to kill someone else. It seems you have a lot to talk about yourself.” Yi Fan returned, although his tone was not cruel.

 

“It’s just… it’s difficult to explain aloud.” Tao whispered, sinking down to sit cross-legged besides the other blonde on the blanket. Tao sunk his fingers into the chilled sand and sighed heavily, trying to sort out the words in his head.

 

“The other kids at school,” Tao began, closing his eyes as a look of pain flashed across his face, “They’re cruel to me. They’re not mean, or childishly mean, they’re flat out cruel. It’s always been this way, ever since we were young. I am not included in school activities, in sports, in anything that a teacher doesn’t force someone to work with me on. They refuse to talk to me and when they do… it’s only awful things.”

 

Yi Fan propped himself on his side, weight resting on one elbow, as he took Tao’s tale in but the boy was far from done.

 

“The people in town, everyone hates me. I figured that out pretty quickly too. My mother can’t even send me into the market to buy things anymore because no one will sell to me or I’ll get harassed. I haven’t even done anything wrong. The entire town shuns me. My parents are ashamed of me. It was really difficult with them at first, my mother sort of came around, but my father just doesn’t understand. I feel awful every time I see that look in his eyes. That damn look!” Tao pounded his fists in the sand, tears rolling down his cheeks again and the boy hiccupped.

 

“Tao.” Yi Fan rested a warm hand on the boy’s arm in means of comfort.

 

“That fucking look! That look that everyone gives me! That look of disgust, of disappointment, like I am some sort of freak show! I hate it! They’re so stupid! They don’t think I noticed it? How could I not when it mind as well be written on their foreheads?” Tao sobbed, angrily beating his fists into the sand.

 

“Tao, what is your crime?” Yi Fan asked, already knowing the answer. It had been pretty easy to figure out although Yi Fan couldn’t exactly place how quickly he’d realized it. Yi Fan could blame that their town was so small that all he had to do was ask his parents but he’d had an inkling before even then. Maybe it was the delicate features to Tao’s face, how his milky white skin made him look like a porcelain doll, or the slightly sway to his hips when he walked. Tao was just too graceful compared to the lumbering fools he was surrounded by at school.

 

“It’s not even my fault that everyone treats me like this! I didn’t know, I didn’t even know until that day! I hate him so much for it.” Tao sobbed, hugging his knees to his chest and he tried burying his face in his legs. He cried for a few more moments before turning to Yi Fan in almost an alarmed manner.

 

“I’m gay.” Tao said, eyes wide in a crazed manner and he began to laugh. “I’m a fairy, a faggot, a sissy boy! I’m gay and everyone in town hates me for it. And this all started because of Chanyeol! We used to be friends, you know? We were talking at lunch one day and Chanyeol told me he wanted to try something. I didn’t even know what he was angling at until he was kissing me and everyone on the playground saw. He blamed me! Can you believe that? He fucking blamed me and it’s been that way ever since. I’m the town faggot.”

 

“Well,” Yi Fan said coolly, cocking his head, “Are you?”

 

“Am I what?” Tao wiped at his eyes and laughed shakily again.

 

“Are you gay?” Yi Fan’s face was unreadable and Tao felt jilted.

 

“O-of course I am. Weren’t you listening?” Tao shook his head and Yi Fan’s eyes narrowed.

 

“But you don’t know that from firsthand experience do you? You’ve just always been told that you’re gay since you were young. I bet you’ve never even kissed a girl. How do you know that you’re even gay?”

 

“What?” Tao’s ears flamed. “What are you even talking about? Of course I am gay! It’s just something that you know.”

 

“Is it really easy to tell?” Yi Fan said more to himself before the elder was chuckling softly.

 

“I’ve never kissed a girl or a boy. It’s just something that I know. Kissing a girl would feel wrong.” Tao frowned, too lost in thought to notice Yi Fan moving closer. The teen startled at the man’s hand on his cheek, turning his face to look at Yi Fan’s large dark calm eyes. Tao swallowed, well aware what Yi Fan was trying to do.

 

“Let’s put that theory to test.” Yi Fan said barely above a whisper.

 

The elder closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against Tao’s, simply inhaling shakily. Tao’s heart was racing, relishing the feeling of Yi Fan’s nose brushing against his, before Yi Fan was angling his head better and drawing in for the kill. The moment Yi Fan’s lips met Tao’s it was not a chaste kiss. The man’s lips parted, seizing Tao’s lower lip, pulling back quickly, and opening Tao’s sweet cavern for the taking. Tao mewled, eyes still wide open in surprise, as Yi Fan opened his mouth wider and pressed closer. The man’s tongue lazily dragged over Tao’s, coaxing it into playing, as he worked his plump lips against Tao’s. Tao was a state of shock, not knowing quite what to do, but simply letting Yi Fan mold him to his preference. Tao was knowledgeable enough to know when they rhythm was off a moment, too much teeth and not enough tongue, and was quick to correct it.

 

Kissing Yi Fan was unsettling at first but once Tao go the hang of it, he found himself rather liking it. The younger moaned, letting Yi Fan lay him down on the blanket, as the elder leaned over him as their mouths remained connected. Tao’s body was singing, the physical contact every reassurance and form of acceptance that Tao had been subconsciously seeking for years. The younger could not even differentiate his body from Yi Fan’s as the man wrapped an arm under Tao’s lower back and pulled their bodies together. Tao instinctively arched up against the man, loving the warmth and pleasure sizzling through his body, as Yi Fan’s free hand ran the length down Tao’s thigh. Their bodies lightly rocked against each other, a quick trill of fear and excitement rushing through Tao at the feeling of Yi Fan’s hard length pressing into his leg.

 

“Yi Fan.” Tao broke from their kiss, panting for breath as he turned his head to the side. Yi Fan simply lightly kissed Tao’s exposed cheek and climbed off the boy.

 

“It’s nonsensical fear that is keeping the others in town from accepting you. There is nothing wrong with you.” Yi Fan stroked Tao’s hair and Tao’s heart leapt. “There’s a reason that my parents never speak of me. I’m the embarrassment to my family as well but what my family doesn’t realize is that it’s not _me_ but _them_ who are the embarrassment.”

 

“You’re gay too.” Tao stated more than asked.

 

“Since I was old enough to tell my parents that I liked a boy in my preschool.” Yi Fan smiled softly.

 

“How did you… deal with it?” Tao bit his lip.

 

“It’s hard at this age especially when you’ve never left the village but university is better. It’s a chance to get away and a be yourself without having to worry about the thoughts of others.”

 

“I’m jealous. I want to escape.” Tao watched the sea, the look of sadness not being missed by Yi Fan. The suicide attempt finally clicked.

 

“Then escape. Bear through school, do well, and get out. Be rid of this place and never return.” Yi Fan offered and Tao wanted to cry about how simple it sounded.

 

“You came back though?”

 

“For a reason.” Yi Fan’s voice trailed off and Tao didn’t want to push the issue further.

 

“Have you kissed a lot of boys before?” There was a blush to Tao’s face but his voice was steady and strong.

 

“Not particularly. Sometimes when I’m out at parties or clubs but I don’t make a habit of it. People at university don’t know yet. I’m not hiding it from them but I have no obligation to tell them either.” Yi Fan shrugged and Tao boldly shifted to rest his head on Yi Fan’s shoulder.

 

“Just let me have this.” Tao whispered, closing his eyes when he felt Yi Fan tense. “Even if for a moment, no matter how fleeting. Just give me this one slice of happiness.”

 

Yi Fan smiled softly and let Tao rest his entire weight against him. It felt nice being needed so desperately by another but at the same time, Yi Fan’s thoughts were restless. Unlike Tao, Yi Fan was not a child and as an adult he had duties. The man mulled over these things while the pair watched the sea.

 

It seemed they did this a lot, Yi Fan thought, but that’s all there really was to this pitiful existence. The man found himself getting lost in the steady rise and fall of Tao’s chest and the weight of the boy’s head digging into his shoulder.

 

* * *

 

Sneaking in the Huang residence had always been an easy feat so it caught Tao off guard when he found both his mother and father waiting patiently for him in the living room. The teen normally came in through the back door to avoid detection, which was technically the front door as it faced the sea and all fishing cottages such as theirs were fashioned in this style. Tao was in the process of quietly latching the lock when a cough from the living room startled him.

 

“Where have you been?” Guan Xu asked. The man sat in the armchair besides the stone fireplace, the only words accurate enough to communicate the rage on the man’s face falling short of livid.

 

“Out.” Tao replied flippantly and the teen could see his father gritting his teeth.

 

“Tao,” The teen’s mother rose from her respective seat, “You had us worried sick. Honey, you can’t just barge out like that!”

 

“Sorry,” Tao shrugged, secretly feeling bad when he saw the concern on his mother’s face. “I won’t do it again.”

 

“We called the school and they said you’d been in a fight? Tao, you need to tell us what’s happening.” Tao’s mother pleaded.

 

“Not only that you’d been in a fight! But that you fought with Park Chanyeol! Goddammit Tao, do you realize what you have done? I need Mr. Park to buy bait! He gives me the best prices that I can’t get anywhere else. But now since your little stunt I’m sure that business venture is over! Are you trying to condemn our family to starve?” Guan Xu thundered, rising from his seat but Tao’s mother fixed her husband with a strict look. Obviously the two had spoken while Tao had been out.

 

“Sweetie, we’re just trying to understand what is going on with you. We’re worried at this kind of behavior. The teachers mentioned that you took off with some older student? Are you in a gang? Are you doing drugs?” Tao’s mother fretted and Tao tensed at the mention of Yi Fan.

 

“I’m not doing drugs, Mom.” Tao rolled his eyes at the absurdity of the accusations his parents managed to come up with.

 

“Where did you go today then?” Tao’s mother fluttered her hands in worry as Tao began climbing up the ladder that to his room.

 

“And with who?” Guan Xu demanded angrily, only to be swatted on the head by his wife.

 

“Tao, honey, don’t shut us out.” Tao paused when he reached the top, peering down on all fours to gaze down the ladder to his concerned parents.

 

“I was with a friend.” A soft smile spread across Tao’s features then and his mother bawked.

 

“A friend? What friend?” Tao’s mother called but Tao was already lowering the latch door to seal off the ladder.

 

“Tao!” The muffled voice of the boy’s mother called to the upstairs, “What friend?”

 

Tao climbed into his little nest on his window perch, settling himself amongst the scraps of magazine clippings and discarded coloring utensils. His school counterpart dream journal was gone but at least he had his other one in the safety of his home. Tao looked out the large oval windowpane at the setting sun and how the array of oranges, pinks, and deep purples burned into the sky. Tao had only been back in house for a few minutes and already his fingers were itching for freedom. How many times had Tao sat here dreaming of an escape? Yet now, Tao found his thoughts wandering somewhere else. The image of Yi Fan, tall handsome Yi Fan, with soft words and smoldering eyes that seemed to speak of knowing something Tao did not.

 

Tao flipped to a blank page in his journal, seized a pen, and began to write about the enigma that seemed to have entered his life.

 

For the first time in a long while… Tao feels happiness.

 

* * *

 

“For as much as I hate this town,” Yi Fan said rolling his neck, “There’s nowhere else that calms me as much.”

 

They were at the beach again, _their_ beach Tao liked to think to himself, but Yi Fan hadn’t attempted anything romantic again since their first kiss about three weeks ago. The day after Tao had punched Chanyeol and ditched school, Yi Fan had been waiting for Tao at the entrance of his school. Then just as the previous day, Tao had jumped on Yi Fan’s motorbike and they had set off for the secluded beach. Yi Fan had put out the blanket, sat besides Tao as they watched the sea and conversed on life, but the kiss that Tao had been waiting for never came. So Tao waited for the next day and the next until three weeks had passed yet the teen’s lips remained untouched.

 

Despite how much Tao desperately wanted to kiss Yi Fan, he made no initiatives. Tao was terrible shy and at a loss with how to deal with this whole situation. Yi Fan was older, more experienced, and seemed entirely too indifferent. Tao worried if he tried to kiss the older man that he would be upset with Tao. True Yi Fan had been the one in the first place to kiss Tao but that was because he was trying to put Tao’s theory about being gay to test. Yi Fan had said it himself, Tao had never kissed a girl or a boy before so how was he to know his true sexual orientation.

 

The sea air whipped Tao’s baggy sweatshirt around his thin frame as strolled along the water’s edge where the small waves of the inlet broke. Tao had opted for a short walk today instead of simply sitting in the chilled sand as they always did. In his hand he held a number of small smooth stones, which he would occasionally skip when it suited his fancy.

 

“There’s nothing calming about this town.” Tao returned. The look on Tao’s face made the serene smile on Yi Fan’s face fall.

 

“There’s nothing but hate and ignorance here.” Tao’s eyebrows knitted as he took and stone and skipped it. Tao meant to be gentle enough for the stone to skim along the water’s surface. Instead he roughly hurled it towards the sea, where it broke the calm surface with a loud plop. Tao frowned.

 

“Then where would you escape to today?” Tao could hear the smile in Yi Fan’s voice and Tao found a smile tugging at his own lips. Yi Fan had a way with Tao. He was the only beam of light in this grey water-rotted hell they were all trapped in.

 

“Arabia.” Tao looked out to the waves in the distance and imagined them to be massive sand dunes. The cold sand beneath his feet would become the hot burning sands of a parched desert and the damp air would become arid and stifling.

 

“What would you do there?” Yi Fan asked, taking a stone from Tao’s hand and skipping it. The little pebble bounced five times before it was swallowed in the black abyss.

 

“I would be a merchant who sells expensive and rare jewelry in a bazaar.” Tao laughed lightly at the idea. Anything was exciting than being the son of a fisherman. Escapism was a game Tao had introduced to Yi Fan on one of their little picnics to the beach.

 

“No, I think a belly dancer would be more you.” Yi Fan said and Tao’s face burned. The teen faced Yi Fan in curiosity, it was the first remotely sexual thing that Yi Fan had said to Tao in ages.

 

“A belly dancer?” Tao dropped the pebbles in his hand and stepped closer to Yi Fan, head tilted as he looked up to the man. Yi Fan’s eyes darkened.

 

“Hmm.” Yi Fan hummed, gaze traveling down to Tao’s hips obscured by his ridiculous sweatshirt he had borrowed from Yi Fan to stay warm.

 

“Kiss me.” Tao said without thinking and Yi Fan’s face became troubled.

 

“I’m sorry.” Tao wrapped his arms around his himself, feeling both crushed and ashamed at Yi Fan’s seemingly repulsed reaction. The taller blonde turned from Tao, sighing as he ran a hand through his hair and seemed to be having an internal battle with himself.

 

“Tao,” Yi Fan lowered his voice in seriousness, “You don’t like me by chance?”

 

“N-no!” Tao’s face flushed red. “You don’t have to. I didn’t mean to pressure you. I just don’t know where else to turn to. You’re the only other one I know.” Tao curtailed around the word.

 

“I… it’s just…” Yi Fan was at a loss for words.

 

“I shouldn’t have said that. I must sound like such a stupid horny teenager right now.” Tao shook his head.

 

“You’re only curious.” Yi Fan perked up at this. Tao found the behavior odd. “There are no feelings behind this? Only your curiosity into exploring your sexuality?”

 

Tao hesitated for only a moment before replying, “Yes.”

 

Yi Fan approached Tao like one would a scared animal. With his eyes already hooded, the tall man gracefully drew closer before Tao until they were chest to chest. The younger’s heart was beating erratically now, there was an uncomfortable rattling in his stomach, and Tao swallowed thickly. Yi Fan truly was without doubt the most attractive human being that Tao had ever met. No one else in the village, not even Yi Fan’s older brothers whom all the village girls deemed handsome, could compare to Yi Fan. It amazed Tao that he of all people had stumbled across such a hidden treasure of a man. Tao drank in the sight of the older man as Yi Fan cautiously placed both hands on Tao’s shoulders. There was at least a head between their height differences but Tao found he quite liked that. He could look up to Yi Fan, he liked how it made him feel small and delicate, how it made him feel like Yi Fan was his protector.

 

“I don’t remember how we did this last time. How do I…?” Tao’s was all nerves, gaze darting everywhere, as his mouth became dry. One of Yi Fan’s went from Tao’s shoulder to cup the junction between Tao’s neck and jaw.

 

“Follow my lead. Nice and easy now.” Yi Fan’s voice was velvet and Tao instantly calmed down.

 

Slowly Tao’s eyes fell shut and he raised himself onto his tiptoes, lips puckered, hands coming to rest on Yi Fan’s upper arms. The older man chuckled and then there was pleasant soft warmth pressing against Tao’s lips. Tao kept his eyes closed, gasping in surprise when Yi Fan’s other arm came to curl around his back drawing him closer.

 

“Yi Fan.” Tao moaned sweetly and locked his arms around the other’s neck.

 

Tao’s memories of their first kiss did not do kissing Yi Fan justice. Tao wanted to melt into Yi Fan in that moment and remain like this forever, bonded as one and sharing his heat amongst the rolling clouds of fog on the beach. This was surely how heaven must feel, Tao thought when Yi Fan’s tongue entered his mouth and their kisses became more heated.

 

Tao found that he was losing himself within Yi Fan, as he desperately tried to consume more and more of the sinuous man. The teen rose to his toes, fingers clinging to the material of Yi Fan’s coat, as he intimately pressed his lower half against the other’s hips. Yi Fan stuttered, lips abandoning Tao’s and leaving a trail of saliva between their lips, as he firmly grasped Tao’s arms and gave the boy a stern look. Tao was panting, emitting the smallest of whines when Yi Fan broke away, as he tried to pull the taller man down his mouth once more.

 

“Tao.” Yi Fan warned softly, turning his face away so that Tao’s lips landed on his cheek.

 

“Please,” Tao’s voice was raspy, “Don’t stop.”

 

Tao’s hips boldly surged forwards, grinding his hard length against the man’s hip. Yi Fan visibly shuddered and bit his lip.

 

“I don’t think I should.” Yi Fan’s actions did not match his words as his hips subconsciously began moving in time with Tao’s.

 

Tao’s sighed raggedly and rested his head against the firm muscle of Yi Fan’s shoulder, lithe body sliding and rubbing up upon his companion like a cat seeking attention. Yi Fan was growing hard, blood rushing south at the sight of Tao’s bedroom eyes and the delicious sensation of having the youth cling so wantonly off of him.

 

“Why not? Please,” Tao begged, “I’m so hard.”

 

“There’s something about me that you might not like.” Yi Fan tried to warn the boy but Tao was having none of it.

 

“I don’t care what it is. I just want to feel you. You make my body feel so good, Yi Fan.” Tao moaned the other’s name, hips aligning so that now the youth’s length was grinding against Yi Fan’s.

 

Yi Fan continued to hesitate, worrying his lip, gently stroking the boy’s cheek as he thought over the situation. Tao met Yi Fan’s gaze, fire burning in his eyes, as he shyly turned his face to nuzzle into Yi Fan’s hand. Then the teen was slowly delivering soft kitten licks and wrapping his lips around the man’s thumb. Tao whimpered softly, tongue experimentally laving the pad of the elder’s finger, plump lips firmly sucking around the joint. Yi Fan’s breath caught, eyes darkening with lust, as he made up his mind.

 

Yi Fan pulled his thumb free, hushing the teen when Tao began to protest. The man studied Tao’s face as he dragged his thumb against Tao’s lips. The teen puffed out small hot breathes, the look in his eyes speaking of the feelings of need coursing through him. The floodgates broke and Yi Fan was seizing Tao immediately, fingers tangling in the boy’s hair, as he brought their mouths crushingly together.

 

Tao yelped at the rough treatment but quickly matched Yi Fan’s level, hands flying to the older man’s waist as he tugged at the other’s shirt. Yi Fan wasted no time in helping Tao, one hand coming down to pull his shirt from his body while his other continued to cradle Tao’s head, anchoring the boy’s mouth to his own. Their kisses were no longer chaste as it felt now as if Yi Fan were intent on devouring the youth. Yi Fan’s mouth worked feverishly against Tao’s, only pausing when they had to part to pull Tao’s sweatshirt and shirt off, before soon reconnecting. Tao was already hard, boyish enthusiasm bringing him to nearly full hardness, and Yi Fan was quickly catching up.

 

Yi Fan swirled his tongue against Tao’s, his own lips locking onto the boy’s lower lip and gently sucking. Tao’s skin was beginning to grow hot despite the cold ocean breeze, body tingling at this newfound pleasure of the flesh. Tao was needy and pliant against Yi Fan’s touch and the man loved it.

 

“Please.” Tao squeezed his eyes shut, knees drawing in slightly together where his hardness protruded from between his legs.

 

“You’re really asking for it.” Yi Fan’s voice was strained. Tao found himself being backed up back to their blanket on the beach, gasping when Yi Fan roughly shoved him down.

 

Tao gazed up to the older man, eyes widening when Yi Fan began furiously working off his pants, the urgency clear in his actions as he roughly yanked off his belt. Meanwhile Yi Fan was drinking in the sight of Tao, young innocent Tao with his legs drawn modestly together at his knees, practically panting as he watched Yi Fan undress. The sight was enough to bring the blonde to full hardness and he made a point of dragging his throbbing member up Tao’s leg as he crawled atop the boy. Yi Fan’s member stood angry and throbbing, a proud symbol of desire, imposingly hanging between his legs. The man was long and thick through his shaft topped off by a engorged head that was already leaking.

 

“Y-Yi Fan.” Tao’s face was burning, hands awkwardly fumbling with his jeans to no avail.

 

“Do you have any idea how hot you look right now?” Yi Fan asked, stray hair falling in his eyes as his gaze bore into Tao. Tao squirmed.

 

“How hard are you?” Yi Fan leaned forwards and began kissing up the boy’s neck, a hand ghosting over the boy’s clothed erection.

 

“H-hard.” Tao returned shakily, hips bucking up against Yi Fan’s hand. The man chuckled low in his throat, spindly fingers finding the outline of Tao’s cock and massaging it.

 

“Hmm. But tell me how hard? How bad do you want this?” Yi Fan smiled against Tao’s neck. Yi Fan knew he was being cruel but how could he not when Tao was blushing and humping his leg like how he was.

 

“Really hard.” Tao’s cheek were flaming now, eyes glassy, as he weakly struggled with the button of his jeans. “Please…”

 

“What was that?” Yi Fan continued rubbing the teen’s length through his pants.

 

“T-touch me.” Tao gasped, hands giving up as he now held onto Yi Fan’s wrists.

 

“I am touching you.” Yi Fan quipped and Tao felt like bursting out into tears.

 

“Take off my pants. Touch me for real.” Tao rolled his head to the side and thrust his hips up against Yi Fan’s.

 

Yi Fan rewarded Tao with just that, pulling the boy’s jeans and boxers from his body in one go. Tao’s member sprang out, rosy and proudly curling up against the boy’s stomach. Yi Fan smiled and touched the head with his index finger, wiggling Tao’s length playfully and Tao groaned in embarrassment and arousal. Tao was considerably smaller than Yi Fan in that department but Yi Fan found it amusing, encasing the teen’s entire member in his palm.

 

“Oh!” Tao moaned, ducking his head against Yi Fan’s shoulder as the man began jacking him off.

 

“Shh.” Yi Fan smiled hushing the boy. Tao could not seem to contain himself, openly moaning and emitting desperate noises, as Yi Fan brought him to completion within a matter of minutes.

 

“A-ah! Yi Fan!” Tao cried out when he came. Tao closed eyes tightly and let his pleasure overtake him, fingers digging into Yi Fan’s upper arms, as his ecstasy messily exploded between the two of them. Yi Fan gently pulsed the boy, milking him dry, until Tao was shivering mess.

 

“You came so quickly.” Yi Fan commented, spreading and contracting his coated hand in wonder at Tao’s release.

 

“I’m sorry.” Tao panted, chest heaving as he struggled to regain his breath. Yi Fan glanced down at his own problem where is still raged between his legs.

 

“D-don’t stop.” Tao cupped Yi Fan’s cheek, determinedly meeting the man’s gaze. “I want to feel you inside.”

 

“It’ll hurt the first time. Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Yi Fan asked although he was grabbing Tao’s milky thighs and spreading the boy wide open. Tao trembled as he was fully exposed to the cold breeze, nipples hardening, and pink pucker twitching at the cold.

 

Tao took a deep breath before answering.


End file.
